Research published this month in the Archives of Sexual Behavior by Diana Sanchez and Amy Kiefer (2007) indicates that having a negative view of one’s own body is not only unpleasant in general. Body shame, as the negative view is called, also makes it less likely that individuals will enjoy sexual behavior. The study further suggests that the lower levels of sexual enjoyment result from greater self-consciousness about one’s body during sexual interaction with a partner.
Sanchez and Kiefer obtained the responses of 320 individuals to an internet survey. The study was announced through message boards for 150 different U.S. Yahoo groups and 20 e-mail lists for University of Michigan undergraduate and graduate students. Respondents ranged between the ages of 17 and 71 years, 38% of whom were men and 62% were women. The vast majority were involved in a romantic relationship. Those who were not in a relationship were asked to report about their experiences in their most recent sexual relationship.
Body shame was assessed using the Objectified Body Consciousness Scale, which includes ratings such as “When I cannot control my weight, I feel like something must be wrong with me”. Sexual self-consciousness was measured with the Body Image Self-Consciousness Scale, consisting of ratings such as “The worst part of having sex is being nude in front of another person”. Sexual enjoyment was evaluated in terms of three different aspects, sexual arousability, difficulty reaching orgasm, and sexual pleasure. Sexual arousability was measured with the Sexual Arousability Scale, with ratings such as indicating how sexually aroused one becomes “When a loved one stimulates your genitals with mouth and tongue”. Difficulty reaching orgasm was determined by two ratings directly asking about the frequency of experiencing orgasm during sexual activity with one’s partner. Sexual pleasure was assessed by three ratings of how pleasurable sexual intercourse, sexual activities, and sexual intimacy with one’s partner are.
Greater shame related to one’s body was associated with a lower likelihood of experiencing sexual arousal and sexual pleasure, as well as a greater tendency to have trouble reaching orgasm. Analyses demonstrated that the negative effect on sexual enjoyment occurred because shame resulted in greater self-consciousness about one’s body during sexual behavior. Sexual self-consciousness had the same detrimental affect on arousability and pleasure for both women and men. However, body shame was more likely to lead to sexual self-consciousness for women than men. In addition, women reported greater body shame and sexual self-consciousness than men.
These results indicate that men and women have the same type of reaction to negative feelings about their body. Yet, women are more susceptible to experiencing such negative feelings.
Although the information collected in the study does not address the way that sexual self-consciousness produces a negative effect on sexual arousability and pleasure, Sanchez and Kiefer suggest several possibilities. First, self-consciousness about one’s body during sex may distract individuals by focusing their attention away from the sexual activities, preventing them from enjoying the pleasure that may result. They may not be able to relax and appreciate the sensations and feelings because they worry about their appearance. A second possibility is that focusing attention on the perceived negative features of one’s body may prevent individuals from focusing on the physical arousal that is occurring, such that they simply do not register and become aware of its pleasurable nature.
The negative views that individuals develop regarding their bodies has been explained by feminist theorists in particular in terms of self-objectification. Self-objectification is the tendency to think of one’s physical self largely in terms of its appearance and to assume the perspective of others who might view one’s body. The tendency leads to the application of cultural standards of what the ideal body should look like. Because U.S. society has created such extreme standards for beauty, especially for women, and because appearance has been elevated to such a high position of importance, women are particularly likely to experience self-objectification and the negative emotions that accompany it.
Sanchez and Kiefer suggest that their results point to possible strategies that may be employed in therapy for couples experiencing sexual difficulties. Individuals might be encouraged to develop the tendency to provide positive feedback about the body of their partner’s if they are found to experience substantial levels of body shame and self-consciousness. Such a strategy may help the individual to cultivate more positive self-images regarding their body, allowing them to enhance their arousal and pleasurable experience during sexual activity over time.
Sanchez, D. T., & Kiefer, A. K. (2007). Body concerns in and out of the bedroom: Implications for sexual pleasure and problems. Archives of Sexual Behavior, 36, 808–820.
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This article does not seem far fetched at all for me. Body image is such a large part of today's society that is it no wonder people are concerned about their body during sexual encounters. I think this article could be especially true when it comes to new relationships. When you are in a newer relationship and are still very concerned about what they may be thinking, you may be worried about your body image. I feel that when you are in a commited relationship, it isn't as big of a concern. You are confident that your partner is happy with you the way you are. Of course there could still be concerns about how your body looks but I think that they would be small enough that they would not detract from the sexual enjoyment.
I completely agree with this article. In today's society, everyone is so obsessed with their body image, that it's hard to not be absorbed by it. The topic of body image is a sensitive one, especially to women. If a woman doesn't feel good about herself, it's not going to be easy to feel comfortable making herself that vulnerable to another person. It may even be difficult for her to feel comfortable with herself after being reassured by her partner. It's a sweet notion that her partner thinks she looks sexy, but that doesn't mean that all her body image fears melt away. If she can't be comfortable with herself, she's probably not going to be comfortable in an intimate setting with somebody else.
This article definitely rings quite a bit of truth. In society today, body image is hugely important, and all people, especially women, are told how they should look through different media outlets. Often times, the way they "should" look is something nearly unattainable and unhealthy.
It definitely makes sense that body shame would interact directly with sexual enjoyment. If someone is so ashamed of their body, they are going to spend all of their thoughts and energy focusing on how they look to their partner. Like the article pointed out, by doing this they are not allowing themselves to enjoy themselves sexually.
The first thing I think of when I read this article is a female wanting her mate to turn off the lights before they heve sex. I know that it is really hard for a lot of females to be nude in front of their sexual partner, even when they don't have anything to be ashamed of. Some people just don't like someone looking and judging. When you engage in sexual activities you are more, vulneranble, but still in a state of 'wait don't look at me'. Which brings me to another interesting part of the reading. Women not being able to reach orgasm because they are too concerned with the way they look. They get distracted about the pleasurable nature of the moment. A lot of how a woman feels about her body is pressure from extreme standards on what people believe a person 'should' look like. Everyone is different and who are we to judge the way someone else should look. I thought it was interesting that men also have issue with someone looking at them naked. Men just always seem so laid back(no pun intentended)about things. But over all, women reported greater body shame than males, which is no surprise.
I think that gender roles play a large part in why body shame affects both sexes, but more specifically in the case of women. Women have been objectified to large extent, and keeping up with the ideal becomes a standard that many people expect from themselves. They may feel like they have failed if they do not have so-called perfect bodies, or what they perceive their partners to view as perfect. Even from an early age, women are more likely to face issues regarding weight, appearance, and self-esteem being tied together. I recently read an article that suggested some women, particularly those taught from an early age that sports are something for men, are more likely to be insecure in sexual relationships. The theory was such that societal expectations differ for men and women, and even though women may believe they should physically appear in a certain way, they have been told from childhood that being involved in activities that would enhance physical fitness is for men. This is just one of the problems. How can one win?
Power also comes into play within relationships, and the baggage – specifically gender-related - each person brings to the table can cause sexual issues. Even the ways in which men and women communicate further widens the gap. Feminine and masculine speech patterns serve different purposes. Susan M. Shaw and Janet Lee have described how feminine speech is more likely to work toward relationship maintenance and conflict avoidance, whereas masculine speech is more focused on audience power and dominance. Even something like the method of communication can impact sexual relationships – as it becomes about who has more control. While it isn’t a surprise that both sexes feel body shame, it is important to understand all of the factors that play into this.
Body image is something that means different things to everyone. For example there are size 4 women who think that they are fat and size 14 women who think that they look great. It is all in your perception of yourself. In the article it states that a poor body image will take away from a positive sexual experience. I agree with this 100%. How can we as women expect to enjoy sex when all we are thinking of is “does my butt look big”? The article does state that men and women both experience negative body images, but women tend to let that take away from a positive sexual experience. Getting back to body image, the way society treats this issue is alarming. In today’s society a size 0 is the perfect size to be a model, yet the average woman is a size 12. Magazines and television promote this absurd notion that a size 0 is the “correct” size for a woman to be. We all know this to be untrue, but yet most of us buy into it. Which brings us again back to body image and the thought that if we do not fit the mold of the “perfect” woman, then we are in some way not good enough. This is extremely sad, because health should be our main concern, but instead we are concerned about what others think. Returning to what was stated in the article, does your sexual experience depend on your body image, and is it really something to think about. With all of the things to worry us in society, is body image really one of them. Well obviously the answer to that question is yes. I feel that if you are in a loving and committed relationship your partner will not judge you on your faults. And if you feel secure in that relationship, then a little “pudge” in the middle will not dampen your sexual experience. I think that where the problem lies is that many people are having sex without having a very strong relationship, or perhaps not even really having a relationship. This, I feel, opens them up for feelings of inadequacy and negative thoughts of one’s body. We all need to work on accepting ourselves as is instead of what we feel we should be.
This article is, I feel, a direct explanation for women being too concerned with the 'look' of sex instead with just sex itself. I know for a fact that even in a committed and loving relationship that it occurs. I am an example. I have been with the same man for 7 years and I still get self-conscious because of how I perceive myself. I know that this is not healthy, but I cannot make myself believe that I look a certain way. There are many women and men out in society that are very comfortable with their size and weight. It has always been an issue for me, and my partner knows this. He always gives me positive reinforcement and feedback, which is completely appreciated, but sometimes I think that he is just in love with me and doesn't care how my weight fluctuates.
Self-objectification explained by the two authors is completely natural for most women. I have several friends with whom exercise, along with myself, around 5 to 6 times a week and limit the caloric intake. Not only are we being healthy, but I am confident in saying that we do it to be thinner. It is no truth that women compare themselves to other women, and especially in a relationship, these women want to be able to keep their partner sexually attracted to them.
If someone feels comfortable being not only naked, but in 'the act of', these people might be at the most mentally healthiest part of their life. The mind is so powerful that it can regulate what and how you feel, even if you do not want to and if someone else is there to pursuade along. Having a sexual arousing and joyful time with your partner is one of the most intimate and closest way to be with someone. You can be close with friends, but when you are sexually expressing your humanistic needs and sharing a specific moment, the most important way to accomplish this is to relax. Just my personal and subjective opinion.
This was definitely a touchy, controversial experiment done to students about heir personal sexuality and weight and how they feel about themselves and sex. It’s understandable that being overweight makes people feel uncomfortable and lowers their sexual enjoyment, because people feel bad about themselves and know people will be disgusted and look down on them and not be attracted to them sexually because of how their bodies look unhealthy and not in good shape.
Everyone knows that looks are very important in human nature and society and how people interact with one another. People react more positively to sexually attractive people. It’s a fact of life. It’s sad to say that looks are the most important thing in the mating game but it is. I even learned from a previous psychology class I took that babies in a study would smile and look more at the pretty people’s faces shown to them and ignore or look away or frown at the ugly or disfigured faces. Ugly people and overweight people its sad to say but it’s the truth that they have it worse than the other people with better looks.
It’s just a terrible cycle with depression and body disorders and junk food so easily available and sold everywhere. I don’t pretend to know everything about being overweight and the psychology of it and sexuality, or the effects of it and the feelings involved.
Me personally, I am thin and I could not even imagine what it would be like for those people. My roommate is overweight and has a very low body image and low self esteem. I asked him to go the pool with me the other day and he said he would never step a foot into a pool area where people will laugh at him and stare. Being overweight must be tough. I think seeking treatment is very important and these people are living miserable lives. Positive feedback seems to be a good thing boosting someone’s self confidence but I think there needs to be a lot more treatment than that. I saw a show on the discovery health channel about a nursing home for the morbidly obese where it is threatening their lives and they have gotten so fat that they can no longer move. They must have lifts come in and turn them so they don’t get bed sores on their skin from too much pressure on one area of their body.
In addition, from the article I learned that women have worse feelings about being overweight then men. This may be due to that women are supposed to be the more attractive sex and their looks are more important to them than men. Men must be attractive to an extent but women are expected to put on the make up and dress sexy and society has a specific view on this. In conclusion, I would have to agree that this study was simple and made common sense on how being overweight lowers sexual pleasure.
The aspect of this article which was most important was the feminist perspective in the article. This revealed the influence of society on the self-images of women. In my opinion, the media portrays a woman as being attractive only if she is thin, young, athletic and submissive. Strong, large, dominant women are defined as masculine.
There is also an economic motive to promote negative body images. Women who like how they look are less likely to buy cosmetics, diet products, body-shaping lingere, cosmetic surgery, etc.
Additionally, a woman's sexuality and sensuality is defined by society and the media. In the early 1800s, the woman's role was in the home as a caregiver to the man and the children. Sexuality was not even considered acceptable for women of that era.
Although the role of women has progressively changed through the decades and more women are the sole providers for the home and children, a woman's sexuality is seemingly still defined in ways to benefit men. I totally agree with this article when it drives the point about how women who feel unattractive do not feel sexual, or experience inhibited sexual enjoyment.
The research by Sanchez and Kiefer was just reinforcing how in today’s society appearances and ideals are something that many people are very self-conscious about how they look. The way ideals are portrayed in the media does not help anybody to appreciate their own bodies more if they are already weary or ashamed of their body. The way this survey was conducted strikes me as rather interesting; it was completely done on the Internet. This allows for a great variety in respondents and at the same time somewhat of control of who is questioned. It seemed an interesting correlation to me, that sexual arousal, pleasure and reaching orgasm is all linked to one’s own body image. I think it is sad that somebody might not feel any pleasure in something that is meant to be pleasurable, only because they are unhappy with their physical appearance. The article makes a very interesting point, it talks about self-objectification, in the sense that these individuals think of themselves in terms of their appearance rather than in terms of their personality or other characteristics. If this is the case, I believe it is also the partner’s responsibility to do everything possible to make the person feel beautiful, special and especially loved.
I think that it is unfortunate that people area so insecure and self-conscious about there bodies. We are all different and we come in different sizes. We all have something about ourselves that we would like to change. I am very petite and I would love to gain some weight, but my metabolism is too high, but I am comfortable with myself just the way I am. People need to stop listening to what Hollywood says they should look like. What do they know any way? A lot of the stars people idolize have eating disorders and they do drugs. Who really wants their life? I don’t. People need to eat right and exercise. Exercise helps keep you healthy, relieves stress, and can help with stamina in the bedroom! If there is something you don’t like about yourself such as being overweight do something about it. Go walk around the park for starters. If you aren’t happy with yourself and ashamed of your body maybe you shouldn’t be having sex in the first place.
I agree that body image plays a significant factor in sexual enjoyment. I feel it plays a larger role with females-especially with the latest Cosmo magazine asking do you know how to turn your man on-followed by images of skinny, fit, computerized flawless models. I think weight and body image is easily over-obsessed it today's society and the study further proves this.
For example, a woman who is worried about her "cottage cheese" thighs is less likely to try new/unusual sexual positions. Therefore, she may be minimizing her sexual pleasure. While on the other hand, a woman who is confident with her body and the way she looks naked would be willing and more apt to try new positions, therefore maximizing her sexual pleasures. If you think about it, would you be comfortable experimenting/engaging in sexual activities after binging on a Thanksgiving Dinner?
On the other hand, I feel the longer you are with someone, the more comfortable that relationship is. Yet, if that individual is constantly obsessing about their body or yours, it could start to toy with your emotions of your own image, even if you have had the utmost confidence in the way you look naked. YOu may start to question those little extra folds of skin.
I definitely agree with this article. I think a lot of concern comes from being over weight and not just in the bedroom. Society places so much emphasis on body image it is hard to get it out of one's head. Whether you are a bigger person or not, I think a lot of it deals with self-confidence. If you have self-confidence then those worries should not be present...or at least not as present very often. If you are in a committed relationship, your partner likes you for you, and in a lot of ways you should be comfortable with yourself just because your partner is satisfied with the way you are.
I can understand how some women especiallu, might feel ashamed of their bodies during sexual activities. As a woman, there are many times when I feel a little insecure about my body. But the secret to being able to have good sex is finding someone who makes you feel comfortable in your skin. If someone is unable to be comfortable, just by their own self esteem, then to be intimate with someone who will also make you feel uncomfortable, is silly. If your with someone who loves you, your body, and your flaws, then your insecurities disappear, and you can focus on your pleasure. Perhaps the article should have mentioned something about what to do about body shame, instead of only statistics on the matter.
I think that this article really hits the bullseye. People today are very concerned about their body and self-image, and this is largely because of how the society views people. All the actors and actresses on TV are in shape and fit. This gives the viewers a sense that they should be the same way. This is not the case though. Many of the people on TV are actually underweight, but society gives the misconception that everyone should look this way. It can affect anyone who watches TV, which is just about everybody. I used to think I needed to work out and exercise to look good. The truth is I'm in good enough shape as it is, but the media and Hollywood convinced me otherwise. It is sad that things like this can potentially ruin relationships, but people will always strive to be like the actors and actresses they see on TV.
Body shame is very normal for many individuals. What constitutes body shame? Most of our first images of what we think body shame consists of are body weight. Do thinner individuals enjoy better sexual experiences? Do larger people dread being naked? I believe that body shame can go far beyond actual body weight. Menstruation, although a natural process, is still considered dirty and disgusting to many people. Could there be shame involved in sexual activity during menstruation? Do girls who reach menstruation early become more sexually involved than those who mature later? Could the later maturation of menarche cause an individual to become less sexually active as they grow older? Do girls who reach menstruation earlier than others feel less shame about sexual intercourse with menstruation? Body shame could also include scaring, birth marks, or deformities. How do you think that these problems could affect body shame during sexual activity? As we learned in the “Clitoris” video, women with larger than normal clitorises may feel uncomfortable with their appearance. How would this affect sexual action? If an individual was raised in a strict religious home, could there be some kind of shame lurking during sexual intercourse? Would this problem affect the way we want our partners to look at us sexually? There are many situations that would constitute body shame in individuals other than weight. Shame is something we all experience.
Body image is so important to people these days that unfortunately people have a hard time expressing themselves sexually. When two people first engage in sex it can be a scary thing if they are not comfortable with their bodies. Also when it is your first time with someone you're not only thinking about your body but also your performance which can make you feel even more self-conscious. Also, if you're in a relationship and your significant other doesn't compliment you very often that can also have an affect on someone and how they feel about themselves. No one had a perfect body but everyone can learn to be comfortable in their own skin. The problem is the image that the media portrays that makes people uncomfortable in their own bodies.
I agree with the article because society has made women so self-conscious about body image it's ridicules. If someone is not happy with they way their body looks they will have a hard time with sexual encounters.Because if they're not happy with themselves they will think nobody else will be. So it would be hard for someone to see you with no clothes on. So if a woman is not happy with herself then she will have a hard time letting someone see her.
Body shame definitely effects sexual enjoyment and also any intimate, close activity with a partner. If someone has body shame about acne or blemishes on their face, then anytime there is kissing, talking closely to each other, looking into each other’s eyes, etc. that person will be simultaneously thinking about those things they are ashamed of. There is this “perfect” ideal in body image that our culture breathes down our backs. However, there is no way to escape culture and no easy way to escape the media’s influence. Sex is an activity that reveals everything external. There is no way to hide what they truly look like. You must be vulnerable, and this includes the risk of being hurt or ashamed; vulnerability also opens the door to more sexual enjoyment by allowing yourself to try new things and be your true self. Through being yourself, the other person will feel closer to you, and relationship satisfaction will increase; this also increases sexual enjoyment. Self-consciousness leads to a high distraction factor, and this takes the focus away from the actual activity you are doing. This will take away from the experience for the other person. I took Psychology of Women last semester, and we talked about self-objectification. This includes assuming what other people’s perspectives of our bodies are. This becomes a barrier to our own experiences, and not allowing ourselves to appreciate our bodies as they are and something valuable to offer someone.
I would think that self-consciousness having a direct relation to poor sexual enjoyment would be an obvious observation, but then again psychologists do analyze even the most mundane topics. I, being female and overweight, am self-conscious about my body and it does effect my sexual enjoyment somewhat but not enough to not enjoy it at all. I am sometimes preoccupied with the thought that my body will turn my husband off, but then I experience evidence to the contrary and I put it out of my mind. I think the researchers are spot-on that it is not just that self-consciousness produces poor sexual enjoyment but rather depends on the level of “shame” that one experiences. I am curious to see the gender and sexual orientation differences in these findings and wonder if this research has been expounded on including those parameters. I would think that heterosexual men would not have this issue as much as heterosexual women or homosexual men. I am not sure how homosexual women would fall in this spectrum.
The findings from this research didn't really surprise me, but they were very interesting. I completely understand some of the problems associated with negative body image. I am currently engaged to my best friend, whom I've known for ten years, and the prospect of him seeing me naked still freaks me out a little bit. It shocks me that it does, though. My fiance is the closest person to me whatsoever, and yet I still feel a little awkward about how he'll view my body. I don't think that this is uncommon, either. I was surprised to learn that although women are more susceptible to having the sexual arousal problems because of a negative body image, men could also be affected the same way. This research has definitely made me more aware of some of the things that can get in the way of enjoying my sexuality and my sexual relationship with my fiance.
The article seems to be very true and have talked to friends who are very self conscious of their bodies especially during intercourse. One friend (obviously not going to mention names) who is an attractive lady, must keep her shirt on because she is self conscious of her body. There are many reasons why people may feel self conscious which will then take away from their sexual enjoyment. If one spouse tends to have a better body than the other this may lead to one thinking that they are not as attractive for the other spouse. When people think this way they could feel more tense and unable to let go, they could also feel that they are not as attractive in certain sexual positions. By one person being self conscious it could make sexual enjoyment decline for both people because the other person may feel that their minds are somewhere else. I think a big reason why people feel body shame is because we base many things on appearances, people are very judgmental.
I found this study to be very interesting because it discusses the body and sexual enjoyment. I completely agree with this article and I think it reiforces American society. Which I have to say is sad but a reality. Images of what the perfect body should be are viewed by people in America daily no matter where they are. We have commercials, billboards, newspapers, magazines, and many other forms of media these images are filted through. Body image is a huge part of our society. When we see images of this beautiful ideal male and female all the time, it tells us it is the only way to look. If you are female you should be thin, with long hair, beautiful tan skin, just the right size of breasts, and athletic. If you are male you should have a six pack, the washboard stomach is a must. Men definately need to have an athletic stature to them and a head full of hair. The media has shown us distorted images by presenting us with a fake images that have been through a process of photoshop and a series of airbrushing. Image is a distorted view within our society. It is no wonder body shame is going on. It is no wonder people want the lights out in order to experience sexual pleasure. If a person is so deep in thought about their body it is no wonder sexual arousal can not be met. If a person is unhappy in their looks their brain is so busy dealing with that the idea of a pleasurable experience hasnt even come to mind. How can a person relax when they are trying to live up to a false expectation. A person is left to wonder what their partners percieved image of the ideal sexual mate is. Is their body it?
Worrying is harmful in any situation, it is no wonder that it can take away from the pleasure of sex. Worrying causes stress and we all know that stress can have a number of negative consequences. The stress involved with being self-conscious about your body will undoubtedly lead to anxiety and feeling uncomfortable about being so open. This self-conscious feeling only serves to take you out of the present moment – essentially paralyzing your ability to enjoy sex. I was not surprised by the article’s report of people having trouble reaching climax during sex. How are you supposed to really let go when your mind is swimming with inhibitions? Until a person is comfortable in their own skin, they will not be entirely comfortable with someone else being so close to them. Imagine you are getting to know someone and they begin to undress you – if you are stuck inside your own head worrying about what they might think of your body – how are you supposed to open yourself up to experience any kind of enjoyment? I think we could all stand to learn better how to get our worth from the inside rather than searching for it in the approval of others.
When people are having sex they should be able to let go and enjoy the moment, however if they are laying there thinking what the other is thinking of their body. That can really damper the mood. Like many have said image is everything, it is all over the media. One example that came to my head was Jessica Simpson photo. There was a photo taken of her that looked like she gained about 20 lbs and her picture was everywhere and it seemed like many were talking about it. I heard many say just two years ago she was in daisy dukes and now... This type of negative media can only add to self conciousness, which in turn will lead to poor sexual enjoyment.
I can only agree with this article because it is what being broadcasted over the United States. The media itself shows only women that it considers beautiful, usually being thin, perfect smile and hair, etc. Also, men that are shown are always built, in great physical shape, with a full set of hair, etc. This image is what they show is "sexy", and many women and men do not fall into this category, therefore many feel unatractive. Body image is shown on the media as very, very important, and only the "sexy" people ingage in sexual activity. Therefore, it is only natural for many men and women to have a negative body image, leading to less sexual enjoyment. I believe that if the media stops depicted women and women as barbies, the sexual enjoyment of many other men and women would increase. I know that women are constantly saying, "Oh I'm too fat" or "I'm too..." this or that, and that is where the problem begins. If men and women realize that they are all beautiful and that you do not have to be a barbie to be beautiful, then people will become more confident and happy with their body image, leading to more sexual enjoyment.
I agree with most of the statements in this article. I do think that society puts a lot of emphasis on beauty, staying young and being thin. This does lead to body issues especially for women. I have struggled with this for as long as I can remember and it does and has hindered my ability to fully experience a sexually gratifying relationship with my husband. I have been married for 7 years and I still struggle with it, however I don't agree with their suggestion of your partner reassuring you that you have a nice body and that they are pleased with it. My husband tells me everyday that I'm beautiful and that he loves my body and my response is " at least one of us does". Usually when a person has an issue like this that keeps them from enjoying sex it is much deeper then just outward beauty. There is usually something else that has contributed to that problem that they have created for themselves, I don't think that until that problem is pinpointed and addressed you can fully start to deal with the body issues that you have. I do know that I am not fat, however that does not prevent me from thinking about my lack of self discipline or motivation during sex if I catch a glimpse of my thighs or abs, and then I am preoccupied with how awful I look, or I will subtly keep from going into certain positions that I think will make me look displeasing. I don't have sex with the lights on, I know that this is an issue that doesn't allow for a very adventurous sex life and my husband can tell when I am preoccupied with how I appear, there are a lot of times that I will have sex with my shirt on, and that drives him crazy, but if I"m not comfortable it is even harder for me to even get aroused, let alone feel "sexy". In fact I feel the sexiest when I'm fully dressed. Someone mentioned that it is possible to be more concerned when you are in a newer relationship, I don't find that to be true. For me when I was in a new relationship it was easier because they didn't know me and there were no expectations. Someone once told me that men are so excited to be invited to the party that the decorations are just an added bonus and that what we find fat they find curvy, it makes sense but when you have always had issues with your self image it's hard to believe.
Society's expectations are never as high as our own. As I read through the responses to this blog I noticed that some people believe that society is to blame for high expectations of body image. Expectations are only as high as they can be personally set. There seems to be a pick and choose phylosophy about society's expectations for individuals. We can acknowledge that a standard may exist for thinness, great abs, or a perfect butt but the truth is, on average, people are not living up to that standard. Many people are over wieght and obese. So here in lies the parodox: if you believe that you are expected to be thin and you strive to do so to fit in to the norm you have infact outcasted yourself by leaving the norm. How does this relate to sex? We all want to be desireable to our partener, even be confident or brave enough to have sex with the lights on without embarassment or selfconsciousness. A true beauty and freedom comes from this ideal. Maybe this is one way that we could define intimacy as true comfort and freedom and pleasure with our partener. Never to worry again about that stretchmark or stray hair or that 5 pounds we want to lose. If we are to idealistic about anything perhaps it should be this ans not the distorted views of what society would have us believe is airbrushed perfection.
I think that it would be interesting to compare the data included in this article with the study done on the people who consider themselves attractive. I wonder if this type of study would show that attractive and confident people want to have sex more and with multiple partners, enjoy showing off their bodies, require a shorter period of time to get sexually aroused, and reach orgasm every time they have sex. After all, each partner projects themselves in the eyes of his or her partner in certain way. Each person wants to be seen by others in particular way (either in a sexual or nonsexual sense) and each person sees himself or herself in a certain way. I think that the problem is more complex than as it is described in this article. Even “attractive” people may feel bad about their body image and may need to be constantly told that they are beautiful. Sex may be one more way for attractive people to gain confidence in themselves.
I also believe that a woman’s self-image is very easily manipulated by others, especially by men. If a woman receives a compliment, she automatically feels sexier and she is more likely to have sex since does not think about how “unattractive” she looks to her partner (unless she starts to think about the reasons why the man complimented her). I think that most women (confident or not) need constant reassurance about their appearance. Everything happens in a woman’s mind. If only she could stop obsessing about how she looks when she is undressed, she could enjoy herself. I also think that the way a woman feels about herself is influenced by her body’s sexual “readiness.” At certain times of the month it seems that women feel more attractive than other times and they do not allow themselves to dwell on what their partner may think. They just let go of all their negative thoughts despite the difficulty in doing so.
I have also noticed that some women can be turned on by the way they look. My friend once said that her husband does not really care whether she wears and sweatpants and a t-shirt or sexy lingerie because he is very attracted to her no matter what she wears (it is one of the reasons why he married her). However, she feels more confident when she is dressed sexier and it causes her to be more sexually aroused. I think that there are many different factors that influence whether women and men are unable to experience sexual pleasure. There certainly seems to be a correlation between negative body image and difficulties with sex.
I agree with Sana that negative body image can detract sexual enjoyment. I believe women have a problem with this over men. If a woman already is self conscious of her body, most likely she is going to be focusing on her negative flaws during sex and worrying about what the other thinks rather than enjoying herself. I have heard women say that they were not in the mood because they did not feel sexy. I interpreted that as she thought that I did not see her that way, but Sana brings up a good point on how women can excite themselves. I found that interesting to take a different point of view on the topic.
This is a topic of interest to me, not only personally, but because it is a topic I am writing about in two of my classes. The notion of self-objectification is derived primarily from the philosophical writings of Jean Paul Sartre and Simone de Beauvoir.
Objectification is the awareness of oneself as a body or an object.
I think this is a very interesting topic, especially as it is related to women; the reason being for so long women have been viewed as the other in terms of their relation to men. From the time they are children women are reared much differently than boys. There is a societal motivation to look pretty and act a certain way; I think this being a major reason why women are generally far more concerned with their appearance than men. A woman’s motivations are directed inwards, as a way of trying to mold to this ideal, whereas men are urged to move outward as independent subjects in the world.
I think that much has changed in terms of how society treats men and women, although there remains an inclination to maintain costumes. I think that it is important to keep moving forward in terms of change, and I do not simply blame men for the lack of change, but society as a whole. This is an important issue, not only in terms of sexuality, but also in terms of happiness. Nobody wants to try to live up anyone else’s expectations, especially if they are unattainable.
As I am reading this article I am saying to myself, Duh. I believe that body shame, and self-objectification as the feminist call it, are major issues in the lives of those that have sexual difficulty. Sex and Sexuality are all around us in today's society. From billboards to magazine ads to TV shows and movies. Main stream media has glorified the female figure as a petite small framed skinny woman who has large breasts and are willing to engage in showing cleavage and provocative, risque clothing and behaviors to advertise a product or service. With emphasis on such attributes I can imagine how some people would feel more vulnerable in intimate situations when they are not living up to societal standards.
I believe that this article made many valid conclusions. The level of comfortability between two persons does, in fact, directly rely on the each individual’s confidence and self portrayal. Those lacking high self confidence have a more challenging experience when attempting to enjoy a sexual situation. I think that a factor that was not addressed in the article is the level of comfortability between both individuals in the relationship. A long term relationship would result in a greater knowledge of one another, therefore, there would be less self consciousness present. The beginning of a relationship each person attempts to depict themselves in an intriguing manner by expressing his or her best characteristics. When the relationship becomes more involved and intimacy begins to exist, the level of self confidence determines the level of enjoyment in a sexual situation. If the relationship continues and develops into a committed engagement, a familiarity will allow him or her to have higher levels of enjoyment during sex. The concept of self confidence directly affecting sexual enjoyment is evident.
Everybody so far, as I do, has agreed with the results of this study. I would suggest that body shame has an effect on the partner’s satisfaction as well. For instance, I once had a female co-worker complain to a group of us that her boyfriend would never have sex with her if the lights were on and that he only took his clothes off under the covers. She also said that he never walked around in his underwear and what a shame it was because he had “such a cute butt”. After reading this article, I am lead to believe that this boyfriend had an issue with his body and his Body Shame was not only affecting him, but also the satisfaction of his partner. I also know of other people who, in an intimate setting, like to look over every aspect of their partners face and being so close to them in proximity gives them intense feelings of satisfaction, but if the partner has an insecurity about their image, they may not enjoy having somebody, even an intimate partner, that close to them because of body shame. This can leave each partner feeling unsatisfied since one is not able to connect in a special way and the other is wondering what defects could be seen.
Body shame has become more prevalent in recent years. Just as the posting states, this is a result of the image people feel they must accomplish. An article I read a few weeks ago spoke of how women feel their body is something that must be worked on until they achieve this perfect image. It is hard to deny there is a kind of double standard in our society when it comes to the body image a woman must achieve when compared to the body a man must achieve. However, even with that double standard in place, men also feel pressure to achieve a sort of perfect image. Gender stereotypes are real and evident in our society. It is no surprise this body shame and self-consciousness has an effect on sex. When our minds are fixated on one aspect, it is hard to focus on another. Especially when trying to enjoy something while worrying about something else. More studies on how exactly this sexual self-consciousness effects arousal and pleasure would be interesting.
The results of this study are not surprising. If one feels self-conscious about their body, they may become pre-occupied by those negative feelings during sexual activity. Instead of focusing their attention on the physical activity and allowing themselves to become aroused, they are feeling ashamed and embarassed. It's obvious how this can have negative effects on one's ability to experience sexual pleasure. I think it's important to feel "sexy" and to see your partner as "sexy" in order to reach a state of arousal. But if one person engaged in sexual activity is ashamed of their body, this is likely to be sensed by their partner as well and can have an overall effect on the sexual mood during intercourse. The results on gender differences are not surprising either. It makes sense that men have more difficulty with sexual enjoyment when they are experiencing body shame, just as it makes sense for women. It also makes sense that women are more likely to feel ashamed of their body during sexual intercourse. It's common knowledge that there is a societal pressure for females to look like the women they see in the media. If a women looks at herself in the mirror and doesn't see that ideal body, she may develop a negative self-image which could eventually lead to body shame.
This seems pretty commonsensical. I can see how someone can feel unattractive about their body image and it can affect their sexuality. There are many factors that contribute to one’s self consciousness about their body image. We go through many transitions in our lives that may affect our body shapes and weight. I know that as we age this could pose a problem for many. I notice as I am in my mid forties that there are changes in my body that have occurred and it does affect my moods at times, and how I feel about my own body image. I just believe that it is always important to put your health and wellness first and that in itself is empowering. Taking care of ourselves physically, emotionally and mentally can be a balancing act and it can be time consuming, but the rewards are well worth the efforts, it’s like an investment of future health and wellness. Women are often pressured and bombarded by society and advertisements by how we should appear and behave. Let’s face it, most of us are not that skinny as they portray us to be, it is highly unrealistic. I do believe that the better you feel about yourself, including internally, spiritually even, the more it will reflect in how you feel about your body image. Often when we are not feeling to good about our body images, we should examine what is going on with us internally, there may be some ugliness lurking around that may need to be attended to.
This is an interesting study. The question that came mind upon reading the conclusions drawn by the authors was: what did the study really show? Do the people that have a negative body image receive less enjoyment and sexual arousal solely because of their body image or is the negative image a symptom of an overall general low self-esteem? If they had a positive body image and low-self esteem in all other areas, I believe that studies would show decreased levels of sexual pleasure when compared to the norm. Take for example, porn stars. Many of them would be likely to have a positive body image, on the other hand, I believe that they would also have high levels of low self-esteem. It would be interesting to see if you could truly test their levels of sexual enjoyment. It would be hard to do so because of the possibility of bias in self-report measures, but I think that it would bear similar to the study conducted by the authors.
The author suggests treatment in the areas of body shame and self-consciousness as a means to enhance the sexual experience of those suffering from a poor body image and therefore sexual difficulty. I would suggest that this does not go far enough. There is an underlying feature of the poor body image that the study ignores. To me the self-consciousness points to a deficiency in overall mental health. What is depression? Depression is when someone does not like them self. What is a poor body image? Not liking your body. There are things all that of us do not like about our body. I don’t like the extra 20 pounds my 30’s have brought me. It, however, does not affect my sex life or make me self-conscious with my wife. I believe that therapists should focus more on treating core self-esteem issues than to focus on the body image. The body image is a component of self-esteem. Self-esteem is a component of overall mental health. Enhance the self-esteem and the body image will become more positive as a natural result.
For men, I think, negative body image is also a manifestation of a lack of self-esteem but it affects not the sexual experience itself but the ability to initiate sexual experience. When men think of themselves negatively it precludes them from attempting to “hook-up” with someone whom they consider “out of their league”. Most men will not approach someone if they believe they are going to be rejected. I believe that is why they reported fewer numbers of sexual dissatisfaction in the study conducted by the authors.
When reading this article, all of it made perfect sense. We do hold such high standards of beauty in our culture, ideals that are at times very unrealistic. With that said, I would think that many individuals would be self-conscious about their own bodies, and if one is worried about his or her appearance during sex, no wonder they cannot fully enjoy the experience. I believe that a man's standard of beauty is becoming just as unattainable as a woman's, thus the increasing cases of cosmetic surgeries among men. It would make sense that in the future, men might experience a level of self-consciousness at rates similar to those of women.
After reading the article, I am not surprised that body shame has the ability to detract from sexual enjoyment. I think the reasons that body shame detracts from sexual enjoyment is twofold. These factors are emotional and social problems. As mentioned in the article, social factors quite obviously lead to body shame because in our American society, we place so much focus on tiny and tight bodies that it is extremely difficult for anyone to live up to those expectations. Women are expected to be stick figures while men are expected to have six pack abs. In reality though, these body types are in the minority in this country. I think a large degree of body shame in this country could be reduced in this country if proper education was offered to our children from a young age. For the most part, children are taught the basics of staying healthy, but I think the system could go further in showing what actual body types look like and not overemphasizing the ‘idolized’ ones seen in magazines and movies. This proper education could equip children with the right tools to maintain a healthy body, but also teach them about the diversity in body types and point out that the ‘idolized’ body is not what most individuals should strive for. Everyone is different and should strive for their body type that makes them a healthy individual. While the social factors play a big role in the body shame of individuals, I also believe that emotional factors can simply add to the problem. The negative feelings that individuals feel about their bodies can lead to more negative emotions about themselves as individuals. This, of course, will interfere with an individual’s ability to have pleasurable sexual intercourse because sex is a very emotional act. When we have sex with someone, we are at our most vulnerable because we are not only naked in front of them, but our emotions are on display as well in the act. If someone feels shame about their body when they are naked in front of someone they are about to have sex with, you can almost be assured they are also experiencing negative emotions towards the act. These negative emotions can lead to a decrease in pleasure or even an inability to become aroused when faced with the sexual situation. The inability to have pleasure or experience arousal situation can create negative emotions towards the act of sex and create even more problems for the individual in future sexual encounters. In the end, I still think the best way to combat this increasing trend of body shame is to educate our younger generation on what it means to be healthy and to embrace the difference in our bodies.
I have done research in the past about how the media has created an “ideal image” for women and in turn it has caused some to develop eating disorders. I never even thought that it would have an effect on a woman’s sexual behavior. It is a shame like mentioned in other posts that the media can have such an influence on people’s body image. This article was very interesting because I understand people feel self-conscious, but I guess I didn’t think about it interfering with their sexual relationships. Personally, I would think that this would bother people who were engaging in a sexual relationship for the first time. I have been with my boyfriend for so long now that I don’t worry about how my body looks like I did years ago when we started dating. I think if people forgot about what the media says they should look like and enjoy the experience that they are experiencing they might actually feel better about themselves. The readings recently talked about how couples with healthy sexual relationships have healthy overall relationships. People need to remember that they are missing out if they get caught up on looks, or better yet, just turn the lights off and enjoy yourself.
I agree with many of the points made within the context of the article. One aspect that I think needed exploration was the issue raised about the cultural perceptions that are attributed to beauty. Standards that are set by media outlets suggest that women should look more like young boys with augmented breasts. Very few women can achieve this level of shape yet it forms an unconscious withdrawal towards a person’s own sexual partner. This withdrawal underlines the billions spent by men and women to get to "perfection." Women also get a subconscious negative stimulation with television in sitcoms. In many sitcoms the man is out of shape and intellectually challenged while the wife is beautiful in comparison while possessing a quick wit. Men focus sexuality is centered on his penis which if it perceived as "small" then this leads to sexual inadequacy which destroys the sexual nature of a man like extra weight destroys the ego of the woman sexually. In addition, as much as a person desires to get away from the idea of outward physical beauty in a partner in a long term committed relationship, it still plays a factor whether the partner wants to admit it or not.
Sanchez and Kiefer proposed several conclusions about the results they found in relation to one's dissatisfaction with her body and her incapability to enjoy sexual activity. In their first argument, they propose that this dissatisfaction occurs because the individual cannot focus on the sexual act because she is preoccupied with her insecurity about her body. This hits so close to home. In all of the conversations I have had with friends about their sexual satisfaction, the ones who possess confidence in their appearance and body shape are the ones who claim to enjoy sex more. It's just like trying to study for a test when your favorite show is on television—it is more possible the exam will not be as successful as anticipated if your head was in other places while studying.
It is also possible that sexual enjoyment may be diminished if there is shame directed towards the body's success rate. The body's success rate can be how frequently it has received compliments and ultimately got the eye of the guy she liked, or the success rate can be in actual sexual activity. It has been determined that having a successful sexual life takes practice. I'm not favoring someone having many sexual partners, but with more and more practice it becomes easier to achieve the desired orgasm and feel comfortable with sexual activity. If someone has been sexually active and has not achieved orgasm, especially when she feels she has done everything it takes to achieve it, she could possibly develop a shame for her body's inability to orgasm. It becomes very difficult to be comfortable with a body that "will not perform".
The mind is such a powerful instrument in our everyday life, especially when it comes to our sexuality—is that not why human sexuality is offered as a psychology course? With more and more research, human sexuality is becoming increasingly concerned with the mental aspects every individual goes through before achieving a true sexual identity, a compatible sexual relationship, and sexual satisfaction. With all of this said, I think that if someone is not comfortable with one's physical attractiveness, regardless of the attraction to the partner, sexual satisfaction will not be achieved. The way one feels about her body or the things her body can do are the most important aspects of sexual behavior, which Sanchez and Kiefer have concluded as well.
This article seems to show quite a bit of truth to me. I am not surprised by their research and I am quite glad to see it because I have been saying it for years! I think that this problem will be seen in long term relationships as well as in short term. In a long-term relationship, there is usually a point where the couple becomes too comfortable in the relationship and things start to go, especially self-appearance. For example, a woman used to be fit and confident when she first met her significant other. After a couple of years she gains some weight and becomes self-conscious, therefore unknowingly she looses confidence in her self. Then sexual enjoyment starts to suffer and she becomes even more conscious. I think that in a new relationship the reasoning for less confidence is usually due to nerves and possible fear that a partner won't like his/her body.
Another thought that should be examined should be ones view of their partners experience and how it effects pleasure. Often in a long-term relationship, attraction levels change and develop in different ways especially when in comes to appearance. This can change due to weight gain after pregnancy, or just in general for example. When a woman's body just isn't the same anymore, does this affect her spouses sexual attraction to her, or more importantly does it affect his sexual enjoyment. If so, is it truly dissatisfaction with their partner's image, or is it still due to a hidden dissatisfaction in oneself?
Finally, I think that body weight in general needs to be examined when experiencing sexual pleasure. Biologically, that is an area around the penis that a lot of doctors refer to as the fat pad. While working for an Urologist, I often heard the doctor talk about this subject. He claimed that for every twenty pounds someone gained, they would loose up to an inch of length in their penis. This seemed far-fetched to me, until he explained that it was all about the perception and that when a man gains/looses weight it affects the fat pad. Therefore when someone looses an inch, it really isn't gone, it is just absorbed by the fat pad. Knowing all of this, it makes me wonder if there is some biology behind this idea of pleasure being affected by self-appearance.
The first term that caught my eye in this article was self-objectification. This is a term that I had never heard of before. After reading the definition, it makes complete sense that it would be a feminist theorist’s term. I agree completely with the fact that this society in the U.S. has created such high standards for beauty, especially for women, which are almost impossible to meet. This means that women are more common to experience it, along with the negative feelings that go along with feeling it.
None of the results of this article seemed to surprise me. The society that we live in puts so much pressure on everyone to look good, which means being in good shape, with make-up and the right clothes. In a new relationship, both men and women alike are uncertain about what the other person thinks about them. They want to look good every time they see the other person. If they engage in sexual behavior and they have continuous thoughts about what they look like, of course their mind isn’t concentrating on the act itself. I believe that in prolonged relationships, it isn’t as much of a deal, but still may be prevalent.
I am always a little skeptical about online surveys, although in this case it may have allowed people to be more upfront about their self-perceptions. Anyhow, I can see how body shame may make individuals less likely to enjoy sexual behavior. The authors posited that self-consciousness or being distracted by negative body features could contribute to lack of sexual enjoyment. While this makes a lot of sense to me, I am wondering why the authors did not consider that maybe some of these people have low sex drives in the first place and that because of this they are able to focus on the negative aspects about themselves. The research that I did was on how mood affected sexual arousal. The results were inconsistent and could not pinpoint negative mood on sexual arousal. The research also demonstrated that individuals do not always correctly judge their physiological arousal. While I feel that this survey is interesting, I feel that it is only part of the picture.
The other part I wanted to address is what the authors had to say about how our society has created extreme standards for beauty. I have to agree with that one whole heartedly. Even movies from the 60’s and 70’s have had actors in them that looked more like the average person than the movies that are shown today. Today, people in magazines are airbrushed into perfection, making it impossible for the average man or woman to ever look like that. Our society is so focused on looks that it seems to have forgotten about integrity and character. I don’t know if this has contributed to people being more self-conscious about their looks, which in turn affects their ability to enjoy sex, but it does seem to contribute to a greater emphasis placed on the importance of looking good.
This artilce seems to be right on point. Body image is a huge deal for people within atleast American society but I am sure it is going on everywhere around the world. We see body images throught different media outlets everyday in which are telling us exactly how our bodies should look. It is no wonder body image is such a negative issue. I agrre with what Pulvers said about body image and relationship. I think this is more of an issue for people who are newly dating. I can see it being a problem not feeling fully confident about yourself to engage in something new without the thought of what that person is thinking. I do think if you have been in a commited relationship with feelings of love and acceptance the issue while maybe be negati8ve for the person the idea of having sex and having a orgasm is still possibole because of the love a person has with there partner. My girlfriend told me that while she feels negative about her body image, sex is still good because of the love the two have for each other. This also made me think about people whose bodies change throughout a relationship. I think if two people really love each other and are committed body image should not matter. The said thing is to some it does. I think this is just another superficial way we have been socialized to deal with throughout the course of our life.
Like many others who read this article, I was not surprised by the findings made by the researchers. The only bit of information that was slightly surprising was regarding the fact that men are negatively affected by these feelings during sex as well. However, after reading the article, I feel that it is possible that there may be one or more confounding variables that may account for some of the results found by the researchers.
When the participants were asked to assess their sexual enjoyment in regards to the difficulty to orgasm, I have to wonder if all of the participants had ever knowingly had an orgasm. Quite simply, if you don’t believe that you have had an orgasm, of course it is going to be hard for you to properly rate that dimension on the scale. Additionally, it has been said by many doctors and professors that penile-vaginal intercourse is one of the most difficult methods for women to have an orgasm because the penis does not adequately stimulate the area inside the vagina properly for orgasm to occur. So, if this is the only way that one is stimulated (because I would think that your body shame would hinder you from engaging in more exploratory foreplay or intercourse), the results may be skewed from the start. I think that if these researchers wanted to be more accurate, they would have widdled down their sample to be limited to those who have received oral sex, mutual and self masturbation, and other more exploratory types of foreplay/intercourse. From there, data would be able to be more accurately collected since participants would be more likely to have experienced an orgasm and could then report on whether their body shame was a factor.
I would also have to wonder if this study could be replicated across different cultures. In certain areas of Africa, female beauty is defined by the presence of fat and an overall larger body. Would these same results hold up there? Additionally, many models on magazine covers are altered to fit the general view of what is beautiful in that culture. For example, in Brazil, models are thinner and wearing less clothing while in Germany, models have a little more weight on their frame and appear to have a more athletic build.
While I do agree with the results of the study, I kind of feel like this study was somewhat redundant. If you were to take a random survey of college students you would get the same findings. I have to wonder why so much funding goes into these “no duh” studies whose conclusions appear to be common sense when the funds could be spent researching something that is more worthwhile.
This was an interesting article. I knew that it was difficult for some women to become sexually interested. I have had a number of women tell me as much. It also makes a lot of sense to me that if a person is self conscious about him or her self they are going to be less willing to engage in sexual activity.
Speaking for myself I can say that when I am not comfortable with myself I have a hard time wanting to engage in sexual activities. it is almost impossible for me to become aroused with a new partner initially. I have a fair number of things I am insecure about. I can not really point to the how it works that I do not become aroused but, as soon as I discuss the issues with the new partner I no longer have any problems. I usually feel that my performance was pretty good afterward. I attribute this complete shift to confidence in myself.
This was an interesting article. I knew that it was difficult for some women to become sexually interested. I have had a number of women tell me as much. It also makes a lot of sense to me that if a person is self conscious about him or her self they are going to be less willing to engage in sexual activity.
Speaking for myself I can say that when I am not comfortable with myself I have a hard time wanting to engage in sexual activities. it is almost impossible for me to become aroused with a new partner initially. I have a fair number of things I am insecure about. I can not really point to the how it works that I do not become aroused but, as soon as I discuss the issues with the new partner I no longer have any problems. I usually feel that my performance was pretty good afterward. I attribute this complete shift to confidence in myself.
I am not at all surprised by anything stated in this article in regards to women. In general women are more concerned about their appearance than men. Women live under tremendous pressure from multiple sources to look as good as they possibly can. When this doesn’t happen their confidence is shaken even fully clothed. Then to be naked in front of someone else, there would be little to no confidence left to then feel sexy or satisfied. Jokes such as just turn out the lights” likely do not help these individuals either. I think it’s interesting that this is not a topic that is often discussed. I would venture to say that that is because it affects mostly women so it’s not given a lot of importance socially. But how intriguing that men are also negatively impacted by body shame in their sex lives. I think that if more men were affected, or if more men admitted to being affected, that this topic would receive more attention. I think an interesting element to this would be the comparison of self reports by the individual with body shame and self reports by their sexual partners on their level of satisfaction with their sexual behaviors and what they perceive their partner’s level of satisfaction to be. I imagine that the partners are more satisfied than the shamed individuals believe.
The content of the blog Body Shame Detracts from Sexual Enjoyment did not come as a shock to me at all. It seems rather apparent to anyone familiar with their own thoughts about themselves would be well aware that when you are self-conscious about your body you do not enjoy a wide variety of activities. Individuals would me be most self-conscious when their body is open for scrutiny; most noticeably during sexual interaction). When a person’s mind is focused on how they look and wondering how their partner perceives them it would clearly take them out of the moment. By not being 100% in the moment, the distraction that is occurring takes away from the sexual enjoyment of both parties.
In society today we are constantly surrounded by images of the perfect body types that we are supposedly supposed to be striving for. The media has amplified the self-conscious body images people of both sexes have for one another. It did not come as a surprise to me that, “men and women have the same type of reaction to negative feelings about their body, but women are more susceptible to experiencing such negative feelings.” I believe this is once again a product of the profound impact media has on the way people think and act. The pressure for women to conform to a certain image is much higher than it is for men. How often are overweight funny men romantically tied to beautiful women in movies and sitcoms? Does the reverse ever occur? Of course not.
This is a social and personality psychology study measurement of the behavior and mental processes of individuals. The aspects of the social and physical environments that affect behaviors were measured, observable (objective), had established rating scales (due to the subjective measures) and objective measures. The survey method used has good generalizability factors.
My concerns:
Is there adequate random assignment in the selection of individual participants? What is the construct validation of the message boards? Are businesses such as “Weight Watchers International” invested in the Yahoo message boards? Though there is ease in the administration of their survey, is there good Test-Retest Reliability?
There are positive aspects of the data that increase the likelihood a researcher will decide to collect that type of information. The data also provides insight into experiences occurring privately within the individual that are not directly observable by others and therefore are not directly or easily obtained by other sources.
My Concerns:
Possible social desirability bias in that the individuals could have possibly reported behavior in a way that is more socially approved than the behavior they actually engaged in. In some cases this type of data could reduce the likelihood that a researcher would decide to collect data.
My conclusions:
The possibilities that S&K suggest address the way that sexual self-consciousness produces negative effects on sexual arousability and pleasure relative to the personality factors that are involved in sexuality and men and women have the same type of reaction to negative feelings about their body; yet, women are more
susceptible to experiencing such negative feelings.
Support for my conclusions:
I worked for weight management program for two years during the 1990’s and I am very aware of several things: 1) Most weight management businesses strive for annual profits and advertise on websites and search engines. Is the survey truly random in the selection of it's participants? 2) I weighed individual members weekly both male and female in a private settings therefore I am aware of self-conscious behaviors about one’s body and how effective a person can be at distracting others and focusing their attention elsewhere to prevent them from enjoying the pleasures that may result – which are NOT exclusive to sexual activities but also daily and social activities. 3) I do remember during “meeting” times individuals discussing “taste”; i.e., new recipes, food products, and “bonus/reward” foods therefore I do not agree with the S&K’s claim that these types of individuals are incapable of “registering” and becoming aware of pleasure. The WW members that I observed were very capable of feeling pleasure and in many different ways. 4) There is very strong tendency leading to application of cultural standards and what the ideal body should look like. 5) Self-objectification and negative emotions absolutely relate to one’s body weight. 6) Positive feedback is essential to cultivating more positive self images regarding one’s body which could subsequently enhance many aspects of one’s life. 7) Therapy is always a good choice for couples who are experiencing sexual difficulties!
I was not surprised to hear the results of this internet survey. As discussed in our textbook on page 263, males are more attracted to females who have a lower waist-to-hip ratio (WHR). A low WHR value indicates that the females have smaller waists and less fat around the middle of the body relative to the hips. This implies that a low WHR value is more attractive and healthy. This is a social standard that is set for women which isn’t always attainable. This problem goes both ways, but women seem to feel more pressure to attain these standards.
As a women gets older this ratio is harder to attain because of the natural aging process. Our metabolism slows down and we go through menopause. This perception of beauty in regards to WHR is one of the reasons that society places such an emphasis on youth. Older women find it harder to maintain their bodies which lead them to have negative views of their bodies. I can see how this would affect their sexuality. I am glad that the survey covered such a broad age group.
Men are believed to be more attractive if they are thinner as well. But I think that society doesn’t perceive overweight men as harshly as they do overweight women. For example there are several television shows which portray an overweight man with a smoking hot, skinny wife. King of Queens is a perfect example of this double standard. He is very overweight and she is skinny. So, this double standard does affect women because overweight women are perceived to be more masculine.
This article stated that negative views cause people to be overly self-conscious. Being self-conscious during sexual activity causes the people to feel less aroused, have difficulty obtaining an orgasm, and to feel lower levels of sexual pleasure. I agree with these findings because if you are “obsessed” with your body than you won’t be able to relax enough to have sex. This would also cause problems in the rest of your life.
The feminist theory of Self-Objectification was very interesting because I think that most women perceive themselves as bigger than they really are. I also think that some women perceive themselves as smaller than they really are too. For example women who clearly wear clothing that is way too small.
This survey showed that males and females have the same reaction to negative feelings, but that females are more susceptible to negative feelings. This didn’t surprise me because the pressure on women to be perfect is insane. I feel the pressure constantly. Not just from the media, but from other women. You feel like you have to go out of your way to make yourself fit into society’s standards of beauty. This pressure is especially hard for young girls.
I think that being self-conscious about being naked in front of someone is probably something that a lot of people experience. Being nervous about your body, if you are a little overweight or not happy with your body is a big problem for lots of people. I think that in the ideal situation you should be having sex with someone you love and really care about and who feels the same way about you. If the person really loves you then your body size and shape shouldn’t really matter to them. I know that won’t really change the fact on whether or not you are self-conscious or not but body size shouldn’t matter if they really love you. I can see how it would cause you to not enjoy sex as much. I know sex can be used as a way to relieve stress but if you are worrying the whole time with how you look naked you are probably not going to enjoy yourself because you are going to be so preoccupied with trying to hide your body. Today’s world is so obsessed with being skinny and so many people do crazy things to their body to try and look like the models they see on TV. You shouldn’t have to worry about that while you are having sex. You should be happy with your body or try to do something healthy to change it.
There is such a large emphasis, especially placed on women, to look attractive. Everywhere we turn, there are pictures and advertisements of attractive women. America has turned beauty into nearly an impossible feat unless one is willing to starve themselves. Models are unhealthy and extremely thin. I read an article about a study that was done on women and their body image. In the study, a commercial with a beautiful woman was shown, and several of the women watching the video experienced feelings of unhappiness after seeing this unattainable body image. It is unfortunate that this unattainable idea of beauty is being advertised and effecting women in several aspects of their lives including their own relationships. When women feel self-conscious about their bodies, and it affects their sexual arousal, extra stress is placed on both the woman and man in the relationship. The man may feel like he is unable to arouse his mate while the woman feels she is not beautiful. Lack of self-confidence not only affects relationships in a negative way, but also affects people in several other aspects of their life. Even when a man attempts to make a woman feel beautiful, there are always the advertisements and models on television who remind us that we are not beautiful enough. As soon as we have lost weight, there is a commercial with a model who has whiter teeth, and as soon as we have whiter teeth, there is a model with prettier hair. I believe there are always improvements for people to make, and some people will never be satisfied. No matter how much someone comforts us, there are always reminders of what society believes is beautiful. Although we are talking about body image, there are many other aspects of our life that compare to this example. For example, many people believe that they need nicer cars, nicer houses, and nicer clothes. No matter what we discuss, people will always find a way to be unhappy with what they have. And, this dissatisfaction always carries over into other aspects of our life. It is important that one learn to be happy with what they have, and if they must change, then they should focus on the solution, not the problem. I have found that whenever I think of the problem, I become even more frustrated and depressed, however, when I think of the solution, I become optimistic and more motivated to overcome my difficulties in life.
The study conducted by Diana Sanchez and Amy Kiefer found that if an individual has a negative body image, there is a high probability they will not enjoy sexual behaviors as much as they could. I would agree with the findings from this study, and would find it difficult to argue against their results. There appears to be this constant worrying and obsessing over one’s appearance, especially in the United States. This constant worrying over one’s body image can defiantly lead individuals to have lessened experiences. If someone is self-conscious over their body, it would only make sense they would not enjoy sexual behaviors as much as one could. As a female I have struggled most of my life with my body image, and unfortunately feel I am too negative at how I look at myself. I have never been the “right” size, height or shape, and individuals constantly seem to find a way to remind others who are not “perfect” that they are not. I would argue that it is not until someone points out that your body is not “right” that individuals begin to even form a negative view of themselves. I am not surprised that women often have more of a negative body image because there seems to be a lot more pressure from society on females to look a certain way. If you think that your body is unattractive it is easy to understand why individuals would assume no one else will like their body either. A person who has body shame often may be thinking more about what others think of their body than actually focusing on the situation or experience they are in. After reading this article it made me think of the saying, “beauty is in the eye of the beholder”. The reason this saying comes to mind is just because you have a negative view of your body, does not mean everyone will. I would like to think that over time individuals are able to obtain a better image of their body if they receive praise from their partner in intimate sexual situations. Body shame really seems like an awful waste of our time and energy. Instead of focusing on trying to be the “right” body, it should be about each person feeling comfortable with who they are and what they look like. Engaging in sexual behaviors is a personal and intimate matter, so if someone views themselves negatively, they are never fully able to enjoy the experience. Hopefully, individuals are better able to acknowledge their imperfections and eliminate most of their body shame. This article made me wonder about what age individuals may begin to have a negative self body image. That is a study I think researchers should conduct, because if one knows when a negative body image may begin, they may be able to prevent youth from even forming a negative body image. This article argues an important truth about American culture, we are a body image driven society, and unless something is changed it will continue to affect many aspects of our lives.
The subject of body shame and sexual enjoyment makes perfect sense. The American society as a whole puts a great emphasis on beauty and weight. Women and men both are very self conscious about their looks. Gaining even a few pounds can send a person into workout overload. The thought of having someone see them naked is terrifying. Some people are so concerned about their fat or maybe a stretch mark they forget to enjoy the physical and emotional aspect of sex. It’s unfortunate that in today’s world, people don’t think about the connection they are making with someone and are only concerned with how they look.
The only way this will ever change is if the entertainment industry acknowledges that women who are size zero are not the norm. The average size of women in the United States is a size 14. These women should be proud of their curves and how they look. Realizing that sex is about attraction will also help reduce the shame that many people feel when they have sex. Spending time with someone and being able to share a sexual experience together should be wonderful, not full of shame because of a few extra pounds or other superficial flaws the person might have.
Firstly, I noted that there were some interesting factors in the research done. These include: The age range was 17-71 (54 year difference), which for me has some concerns. The reason for this is depending on the time when these women were growing up they may have been raised to be shameful of the sexual act and were taught that it was only their duties to serve the man. Personally for me, it would have been more helpful to access a closer age range. The modesty factor should be considered. The women 50-71 may have been raised with the belief they weren’t supposed to reveal their sexual activities or the feelings that come from such activities. The next concern, is the misrepresentation of the male to female percentage; 32% males to 68% female. Being there were 320 participants means there was only 102 males to the 218 females (ratio 1:2.1). Initial knowledge indicates that women, in general, have been conditioned to believe that their bodies need to be very specific in a slender state (currently). Whereas men have not been held to such high social standards to their physical appearance. Therefore, with the study utilizing the views of more women over men there is already the ability to confirm there will be significant findings to agree with this statement. The ability to access a personal view of ones’ self is very complex. Being there may be some sort of deformity that the researchers were unaware of during the surveying. This may have required further in depth evaluation to ensure confirmation of “body shame” reasoning. It also needed to be considered the level of experience in sexual activities. In the event that there was little experience with multiple partners, the subjects may not have had an opportunity to experience the sexual arousal or pleasures. Their partner’s sexual inabilities may have played a significant factor in their inabilities to climax. Furthermore, there may have been a history of verbal and/or physical abuse, including but not limited to molestation and/or rape, in their past relationship(s) that may have a negative effect on their self-esteem and their sexual emotional state. This would be included in their “body shame”, but there are many other factors that would need to be uncovered to properly access the validity of this claim. Where a personal view of ones’ physical appearance plays a significant role in their appreciation of the sexual pleasures it may not be the only thing that has affected these abilities. All factors in this particular study are complicated and can be reviewed more in depth in future research. It should be noted; primarily women have been increasingly taught to be ashamed of their appearance when they do not meet the standards that have been set by their particular society. Overall, that is a very tragic state of being. Women and men have found themselves at a standstill, a stale mate of some sorts. Unrealistic goals have been placed on each, forcing health to be placed on the backburner and appearance goals on the fore front. These goals include: Diets galore, surgery remodeling priorities, lifts and enhancements galore, and the inability to remain individual. Negative appearance views force beliefs that are non-existent. Making self-conscious awareness as part of the sexual activities, which is making them something more than what they are, seems to be societal conditioning. As a part of that community I can say that I do not support this belief. There is much more to beauty than waist size. In future research, it would seem to be beneficial to include a more specific realm of requirements in selecting participants. That will ensure the ability to fulfill more closely related experiences and overall appearances. A broad generalization seems to not represent all possible explanations for unsatisfactory sexual relations. It may also be beneficial to separate the male and female experience responses. This could be accomplished by placing them into separate groups to more closely define a statistical basis for each.
This article doesn’t surprise me, even the statistics. First I think it is only natural to feel a little uncomfortable being naked in front of someone, especially someone that you care about and when caring what they think. However it becomes a problem when it starts to affect your sexual relationship with that person. I also wasn’t surprised that feeling self conscious is more prevalent for women than men. Women compare themselves to other women in the media. As it says in the text book (pg. 7), a favorite television channel of girls aged 11-19 is MTV, which typically present females as sex objects. When women are presented in the background of music video, they are usually presented in a way that exposes or focuses on their breasts and buttocks. It also says in the textbook (pg. 8), women are represented primarily as underweight and with idealized figures. So basically women are comparing themselves to women that aren’t real, or to women’s bodies that are unattainable. When women look at themselves and don’t see a person who could be in a magazine, they may feel more self conscious. From a young age girls see these images of women and as they become older the false image of women seems real. Women may think they aren’t thin enough or good looking enough, but they have to know that their sexual relationships shouldn’t be about that. I don’t think that women give men enough credit; they aren’t all about what a woman looks like and if they are than that relationship should be re-evaluated. People have to find a way to be comfortable being in their own skin.
This article is very interesting and all the statistics do not surprise me at all. I believe that self-confidence and the way people view themselves influences not only that person’s sexual life but also his/her relationships in general. I hear all the time that when people have self-confidence and are satisfied with the way they look, other people will also realize that beauty. Self-confidence about our appearance is very attractive to others. Feeling attractive helps bump people’s self-esteem up and consequently make people happy and confidante to engage in relationships and sexual activities.
Also, hearing your partner complementing you and your body does help you to feel more confident and relaxed. I agree with those studies when Sanchez and Kiefer suggest that many people think about how they look or what their partner think of their appearance while having sex that they forget to think about the actual act of sex and the pleasure they are having from it. Something that could help a woman to relax and enjoy the moment is if her partner gives her complements of how beautiful and sexy he thinks she is. I used a woman as an example, because that is a way that made me feel very confident and helped me feel more pleasure when my boyfriend would tell me things like that. Even though I feel like women feel much more uncomfortable and self-conscious about their bodies and looks than men do, I am sure the same would help for men.
People care so much about the way they look nowadays. It is not about being healthy and eating right anymore, it is all about looking skinny in order to fit into the beauty standards. All it matters is to look skinny and fit. That is why eating disorders are so common in our society lately. Also, people spending hours at the gym working out to achieve that perfect body image, instead of working out to be healthy.
I usually talk to my roommates about this kind of stuff, and my question related to this post was, “would you guys ever have sex with a chubby guy?” I was not surprised when their answer as no. My second question was “what if he was a handsome but a out of shape?” Then, one of them said, “how much out of shape?” That question made me wonder, is fitness and body attraction the only thing it matters when it comes to sex? Sex is becoming a bigger deal in our society as time passes by. Is that why the beauty standards are becoming more and more extreme as well? The skinniest girls look the better, the most muscular the guys look the better. Is that what really matters for someone to enjoy sex with their partner? The way someone looks does not play such a big role in people’s mind anymore. It is more about the body. There are those guys my friends and I call “shrimp guys” (cut the head and enjoy the rest), we say that because it does not really matter how his face looks like, but if he has a really nice body we would probably talk to him. Many people think the sex will be better with someone who is skinny or muscular. I believe it is because that is how sexuality is expressed. The beauty and body standards are everywhere, from porn movies and magazines to regular magazine and television. In addition, when people see a skinny and good-looking girl with a chubby guy or the other way around. The first think they usually think is “why is he/she with her/him?” I believe our society has shaped people’s mind to think attractive people should only date someone as attractive as them.
The article points out one of the negative factors causing the sexual disturbance in couple relationship. I agree that body image plays an important role in sexual enjoyment, and body shame will take away the positive sexual experience. The impact of body image is experienced in deeply personal ways, and in general, women are more insecure and self-conscious about their bodies than men. If a woman is confident about her body, she is likely more comfortable having sex and therefore has better sex. In contrast, if she feels undesirable or feels bad about her body, she will be lost interest in sex. As the result, body shame usually leads to self-devaluation, depression, and sexual dysfunction.
In today’s media and culture it has become increasingly obvisous that there is a skewed option as to what is considered to be beautiful. It is for that reason I feel that there is quite a bit of merit behind the idea that a negative body self-image can and does lead to a decrease in over all sexual enjoyment. I feel that this skewed perception has exacerbated the poor bodily perception that people already have, making both men and women of all body types feel very self conscious and uncomfortable in their own skin. We live in a culture that places too much of an emphasis on the “perfect” bodily image, the Angelina Jolie body. It’s hard enough for anyone to meet that kind of standard clothed let alone when they expose themselves to their partners completely unclothed. Completely unclothed, is exactly what they are, stripped bare exposing themselves both in the physical and the emotional sense. This emotional striping is present in both sexes but I believe that women are hit the hardest by this, in no thanks to the “Angelina Jolie” effect. Women, in general feel as though they have failed themselves and their loved ones by not keeping up that image, and that by not doing their loved one may be appalled by them and no longer attracted to them. There is a phrase attributed to Descartes that may be out of context but I think still applies here, “I think therefore I am”. The individual thinks/feels that their body is flawed so it must be. By not feeling beautiful and sexy then in turn are unable to enjoy the most intimate of moments with their lovers. All of their self perceived flaws are out in the open when they are naked with their lovers. While I do agree that our perception of our own looks effects how we feel which in turn effects our sexual enjoyment. It does not mean we will not experience pleasurable and satisfying sex lives. Especially if and when your partner loves and accepts you for you and all of your perceived flaws, “beauty is in the eye of the beholder” as the saying goes. If I can love and want you the way you are, then why not enjoy the moment.
There is a very precarious position that partners subjected to, in no small light to this skewed perception. In attempts to comfort their partners they can pay them kindly complements. They see that their partners are worried about their appearance and in attempts to pick up on their cues and to easy the troubled mind make the comments like: “you’re beautiful” or “I think you looks sexy as hell”. These benign comments which are meant to reassure can be seen as; just the partner being a “good” partner saying all the right things to make me feel good about myself or just an easy way out of one of those no win sticky situations where the person knows no matter what they say they are going to be told they are wrong.
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